You Are Not Everyone’s Cup of Tea

I am still learning. Even at 56, life keeps teaching me lessons I thought I already understood. One of the hardest lessons has been this: I am not everyone’s cup of tea.

Some people have found me exhausting. Too intense. Too curious. Too willing to ask questions or say what others would rather avoid. For them, I was too much.

At the same time, others have seen me very differently. They have found me comforting, kind, and even refreshing because I helped them see life in a new way. They have seen value in what I bring to the table. For them, my energy, my questions, and my intensity were not too much. They were exactly what they needed.

Living through both sides has taught me something I wish I had learned earlier. We are not meant to be everyone’s cup of tea. Trying to be will only drain you. It will make you tired, like I became tired when I was peacocking for the wrong audience. I was showing all my colors to people who could never receive them.

What matters now is knowing where to give your energy. Your intensity, your fire, your colors need to be shown to the right audience. The right people will not just tolerate you. They will welcome you.

You do not have to mute yourself forever. You only need to reserve your fire for the ones who call it warmth, not threat.

If you are tired right now, that is part of the reset. Being tired is the body and soul asking you to stop giving your best where it is not welcomed. Rest is what comes before alignment.

At 56, this is what I know to be true. To live a good life you want to be surrounded by people who see value in what you bring to the table. And here is something I learned the hard way: your table has limited seats. Be very selective about who you invite to sit there.

I personally know the pain of letting anyone sit at my table who was not the right person. The wrong people will eat your food, drain your energy, and leave you emptier than before. The right people will share with you, build with you, and leave you stronger. That is why I now ask myself three simple questions whenever I consider inviting someone to sit at my table, or when I consider accepting an invitation to sit at theirs:

1. 1. Do we share the same values?
   2. Can we work together for something better?
   3. Is there opportunity?

If you can answer yes to the first two, you will find the opportunities, because values and working together are what make a full life.

So guard your table carefully. Picture it as a place with only a few seats. Do not give those seats away to people who do not respect you, or who do not share your values, or who cannot build anything with you. Invite those who will honor the seat, who will add strength, who will leave both of you richer for sharing the meal.

We are not everyone’s cup of tea. The mistake is thinking we should be. The freedom comes when you realize you only need to pour your cup for those who will drink with gratitude, and you only need to set a place for those who are meant to be at your table.

So I say this to you, the reader. Do not waste years like I did trying to convince the wrong audience. Hold onto your fire. Protect your colors. Guard the seats at your table. Save your best for those who see you as comfort, as strength, and as truth. They are out there. They are the ones who will see your value, and they are the ones who will help you live in alignment.

My hope for you is that you learn this sooner than I did, that you choose carefully who you let sit at your table, and that you have the courage to give your best only to those who are ready to receive it.

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